We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
And then he peed in my hair
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