she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
