he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
