Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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