my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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