Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
