his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
