i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
