There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Sorry my hands just texted you
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
