ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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