She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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