Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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