How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
