Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
