Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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