I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
it glows. i had to have it.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
