you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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