I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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