I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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