Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
