your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
