Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Only a mothe r could love this liver
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
