I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
