Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
