I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
