I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
