i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
The power of my boobs compel you
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