i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
