OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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