2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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