my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
