I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
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