just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
