I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
