Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
