you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
