He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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