So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
