If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
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