We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Randomize
