drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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