I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
