Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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