Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
