So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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