I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
that's an acceptable place to lick
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
