she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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