My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Randomize
