that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
