So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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